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The sausage factory.

( Public domain )

J. Lee



The government owns and operates the machine. The sausages are the products of this machine. The local supermarket sells the sausages under strict government guidelines. Every child MUST eat them for breakfast.

The sausage factory has a monopoly and forces all of us to eat sausages for breakfast. Luckily, at least 65% of the population really like sausages. Some are allergic and they can't eat sausages so they get special food… some fancy stuff called vegetables. They are really expensive. The man who owns the sausage factory keeps a special little garden just for such purposes and periodically announces how compassionate he is. The rest can eat sausages but they don't like them.

So the parents of the children who don't like sausages recognise the fact and some will let them eat eggs as well. Some kids don't like the sausages but they learn to plug their nose and swallow quickly _ just to be like the other children. Some kids really hate the sausages, and the parents don't realise just how horrible they taste but nonetheless take a hike to a psychologist and have the "I-hate-sausage test" done. The results clearly show that the child does actually need breakfast, but a diet of sausages has no nutritional value for them due to some sort of hereditary thing. The parents, proud that their children have finer tastes are surprised, bewildered and seek out others with in the same situation and finally analyse their own eating habits as kids and remember just how rotten those things tasted. They become convinced and educated to a high degree on their child's problem and go trotting off to the supermarket to arrange alternative nutrition.

Simple? No way. There are a few other versions of sausages: veggie, pork, beef, kosher. You name it but none of them seem to taste very nice. The parent hears a few rumours about another supermarket that has bacon-and-eggs stock, but learns that it's on special and there is no guarantee that it will always be on offer. Some of the supermarket owners decide to appease the parent and quickly fashion some Egg-shaped sausages, some even get a bit of yellow food colouring in the centre. The child is not fooled. The parent is not fooled. The man who owns the sausage factory is delighted.

"Psst"! There is a supermarket over there who can supply bacon and eggs. Of course it wouldn't be right to advertise that would it? Oh no. There could be some sort of stampede. It might be unfair to all the other supermarkets.

So a few children get bacon and eggs for a while and thrive on the new diet. That only lasts until the supermarket owner retires and then the rest of the staff … (who don't believe in bacon and eggs) … trash the line. The new owner has heard of bacon but thinks sausages are best for all children.

Some parents decide to raise their own food. The owner of the sausage factory doesn't like this for obvious reasons and puts all kinds of hurdles and obstacles in the way. Sometimes what they are allowed to grow looks and smells pretty much like… sausages!

…and so it goes. Of the kids who hate sausages, a few thrive, usually those who can force themselves to eat them and get given a supplementary diet of bacon and eggs. Some are malnourished, some suffer emotional problems and some develop a very nasty rash.

Some die.

What a bloody damn waste.